Boston: An Awakening

There's nothing terrible here, but I can see some changes that would make it more appealing to me.

First, let me say that I think we have different play-styles (which is incidentally most of the reason I decided against applying to your story). A lot of my comments are related to that. I've tried to restrict my comments to things that have a reason behind them, though you certainly may not agree with my reasoning.

First of all, the Prologue is rather vague. A story in a Mage: the Awakening game can go a lot of ways, and I would like to see more than just the fact that the powerful cabals are on the brink of open war. I'd like to see an outline of the situation even if knowing this would be OOC knowledge, particularly if the characters are going to be embroiled in politics.

I'd like to see the rules be a little less dense. Right now you don't have any breaks between rules aside from the numbers and it makes it quite a bit harder to read.

I can understand why you have your first rule, since I'm familar with the game and I agree that there are a lot of complexities, but I think more flexibility would help you in recruiting characters.

I don't find your reasoning for the third rule very compelling. Since xp in a game like this is based on role-playing more than what you've killed, I think letting players know if they're doing well by handing out XP is reasonable. In the tabletop Mage game I run, and the games I play in, XP is a way to acknowledge being in character particularly well, clever ideas, figuring something out, character growth and a whole host of things -- basically anything memorable and cool. Additionally, not knowing how much XP I have would possibly distract me more than looking forward to the next "level," mostly because I like to know if I'm doing well.

The rule about Imagos seems reasonable, but could use a less dense format that's more conductive to easy reading. As I've told several of my friends, paragraph breaks are your friend.

I can sort of understand why you're restricting people to one of each path, but I would hesitate to do so in one of my games. Paths have plenty of variety within them to allow two characters from each path so long as the players are aware of each other's area's of interest (Which I suppose is difficult considering your Rule #7, another rule I wouldn't be as strict about.) Once again, I see this as something that might discourage people who are otherwise interested from applying.

I hope this is helpful, or at least food for thought.